You just climbed a flight of stairs with an armload of laundry. You knock on your 12 year old daughter's bedroom door. She shouts, "Mom, don't come in!"  Your suspicions rise, not to mention the laundry you are holding is about to tumble onto the floor. Ignoring your daughter's request, you turn the knob and go in, partially wondering if she will be on the website she is currently restricted from.  You spot her phone across the room on her dresser.  She is sitting cross-legged on her bed, assorted pictures of the two of you strewn about her bed with a poster board in front of her, the words "I Love You Mom" written beautifully at the very top.  Then you remember... Sunday is Mother's Day. You back out quickly as you mentally smack yourself in the forehead over and over!

There are certain things you want to catch your child in the act of like:

1. Showing another person they are loved:  Whether it is writing a thoughtful letter, putting together an extravagant gift, or baking cookies for a sick friend, your child's personality type will emerge as they choose whether they want their display of love to be a public offering, or a private one. Either way, these thoughtful moments are definitely ones worth catching!
2. Encouraging someone with his or her words: When my kids were young, I was intentional about teaching them to use their words in positive ways. Since we are a family that embraces biblical teachings, I had my two memorize Ephesians 4:29. It reads, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen".   To reinforce, they would earn tickets when I caught them in the act of using their words to encourage, which they could later trade for a prize from an overly decorated, glittery prize box.  On the back of their tickets, I would write the words they used, and we have loved finding and reading them over the years. You know what? It worked! To this day, my kids are "life speakers". Teach your kids about the incredible power their words can have on others! 
3. Stepping in to be helpful:  Catching your child being helpful of their own accord without adult prodding is the best.  What does this look like? Your teenage son sees his mother walk towards the 50 lb. bag of dog food at the store and jumps in to grab it. When mom gets home from the store, the other kids notice and come out to help her in with the bags. An older sibling helps a younger sibling with homework

 When your kids put their focus on the needs of others over their own, this is something to celebrate!

What should you do when you catch your children in these golden moments?

Give them praise, praise and more praise!

You are raising these little people to be loving, giving, kind and thoughtful members of society.  When they are on the right track, it is important they know it!  It is natural to be hyper vigilant in correcting the negative behavior in our children and then smile to ourselves when we notice their better moments.  We all prefer praise to criticism. 

As parents, we need to be the encouraging voice we want to see in our children (reread #2 above).

I believe in you, parents. You can do it!